Dear Hipsters,

Probably best to go fuck yourself.

FLUORO ONLY LOOKS GOOD IN STATIONARY

AT LEAST PUT SOME GLASS IN THOSE FRAMES…I MEAN, C’MON!

YOU ARE NOT DAVY CROCKETT.

TOOTSIE CALLED, HE/SHE WANTS HIS/HER GLASSES BACK.

NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR NIPPLES, GUYS. NO ONE.

SAW YOU THE OTHER DAY ON YOUR VESPA IN THE RAIN. NOT SO FUCKING COOL NOW, HUH?

I BET YOU CAN’T EVEN SPELL NIETZSCHE!

IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT YOUR NECK IS COLD AND YOUR ARMS ARE NOT.

IF YOUR GLASSES EXTEND PAST YOUR CHEEKBONES YOU NEED SMALLER ONES…OR A BIGGER FACE.

YOUR SKINNY LEGS MAKE ME FEEL MORE MANLY